deeper

so many times i thought i was ready, hoped you would make that move. but we weren't really there, and that sort of loss of self control would have led to a much deeper chasm...

some things need to be written down...

i awoke from a dream so real and so confusing... the most amazing thing was that you were hugging me at the end and when i awoke i could still feel the hug...

it was another of those dreams where the scene and characters change to frequently... you know how when you think about it later its hard to put the pieces in order, and things that made so much since in the dream, have no logical bearing in real life .

I had trouble falling back to sleep after this one, trying to decipher an important character and situation who the heck is marlena? where did i go when i "lived" with her (as in in a foreign country for like a week)? and why is she so familiar?

plaid shirt , fleece vest

he dresses like you…

that sweet old man…

and it made me think.

made me smile…

nice

It's nice...

to know we are on the same track...
thinking about the same things...

to hear him say things that I have thought...

and to realize that it's the right track.

I would be so easy to be on the wrong track together, to go with what feels good... and not what we know is right.

So even though it's hard sometimes to resist that kiss, or that thought... it's better this way.

clear sky

the stars were beautiful tonight...
the moment i had to glimpse them made me wish i had taken more time,
and that I had been able to share them with you.

scary

that sinking feeling in the pitt of my stomach.

what is this, what is this?

the thought that something's wrong.

what is this, what is this?

a fist, tightning around my heart.

just one word could turn this dream around...

those eyes

i thought i understood what the poets, artists, and songwriters meant when they talked about the possibility of drowning... of getting lost in someones eyes.... not just any someone of course, but that someone... i was wrong. i don't think you can "understand" that idea, not intellectually... experience will teach you that nothing is the same as you thought it might be.

<3

"I'm as giddy as a spider spinning daydreams..."

today was a beautiful day!