Thursday, February 10, 2011

When you're ready to come out of your self-imposed hibernation, I'd love to share some time with you.

mountains and molehills

Why do you feel so strongly about such immediate things? such improbable things?

Why am I at such a loss, to understand who I truly am? How much of me is really me, and how much depends on my company?

How do I begin to show my true self around people who have known me for so long and have never seen those parts? What would possess me to keep parts of myself undisclosed?

What is wrong that I am afraid to be myself? Do I even know who that is?

atmospheric pressure

sometimes all it takes is some silence, a little peace and quiet. to get the thoughts and creative energy flowing.

raw and exposed

Some people didn’t know for days, weeks even.
My own roommates had to drag it out of me practically. They didn’t realize just how much I could hold it in, and yet not really.
I saw so many people that night who had no clue.
I still want to take you there, you’d appreciate the view.

I haven’t stepped foot in the forest since that Spring. Not for lack of wanting, at least that’s what I tell myself. Life changes and other people get in the way.

If you realized how much I gave you of my time. How many things I set aside to be with you. That was probably the loudest of my exclamations.

pondering loss

If only you knew how much you knew. Or at least how much I tried to share. I’m not such an open book. I don’t tell much, so what I do say is important. Sometimes I wonder where we’d be , if you had really listened. If I had been able to express myself…

 

How do people learn how to understand one another, learn to communicate?

We tried, and failed miserably. We are so different, and yet…

 

My bad habits, our lack of communication. 

 

If it were right, we would have figured it out, wouldn’t we have?

 



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DRAFT

The promise of snow,

A twinkle of stars.

What would I give to be,

Snuggled there in your arms.  



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little things

It’s little things,

A dark red car,

Of similar make.

A plaid shirt.

A rainy day,

Especially a stormy one.

Your favorite color.

And yet, I know that our decision was the right one. It’s just hard, to have been that close, and lose it all.