:)

Tonight was really nice...

the beach

castles abandoned
flags blown away
pacifiers lost
in the shadows of sunset
birds glide
friends and couples stroll
waves fall unaltered by human bodies

the beach is almost empty now
and as the coolness of the breeze meets my skin
i can't help but thank God for the beauty of it all!

rose

What is the story of a creamy white rose,
left in a gravel parking lot,
wilted yet not brown?


undated --charleston, evening or early morning... on my way to take a walk on the beach. Must have been early spring, in the all day parking lot at Isle of Palms. I was inspired to wonder about this flower.
Was it the remnant of a romance lost, or the litter of a casual fling?

Why is it that I sometimes talk to a room full of people, that doesn’t listen?

It’s like I think I want them to hear me, to react to what I am saying… but in some way I don’t. so I talk… and even though they don’t react I sometimes keep talking…

scary

that sinking feeling in the pitt of my stomach.

what is this, what is this?

the thought that something's wrong.

what is this, what is this?

a fist, tightning around my heart.

just one word could turn this dream around...

dreaming

Is this really my life?

those eyes

i thought i understood what the poets, artists, and songwriters meant when they talked about the possibility of drowning... of getting lost in someones eyes.... not just any someone of course, but that someone... i was wrong. i don't think you can "understand" that idea, not intellectually... experience will teach you that nothing is the same as you thought it might be.

<3

"I'm as giddy as a spider spinning daydreams..."

today was a beautiful day!

been looking for this piece for a while... written for a friend who was having guy trouble

is this obsession real? this love that he feels.
have we invited a spook or a spark?

can we ever know the true course of a thought, a gaze, a heart?

to ask that we stay, to know where we aren't,
to permit that he go, my eyes to awake

blocked

Having trouble putting pen to paper lately, especially today.
What is it that i suddenly have what could easily be inspiration, but no words?
That my desire to write is met with blank paper? Even my usually random and somewhat innocuous ramblings are non existent...

cold feet

why did i suddenly feel like running away?

that brief fleeting moment
needing to escape

when what i wanted in the first place was a clear indication

when i needed that bit of confirmation?

is my heart still so fickle, or am i just afraid...

rambling

Why is it when you are still trying to figure things out, everyone else already has an opinion?

Believe me I don't really mind the insight, as much as I try not to be conformed by the molds of society they still have an effect. So it is important to know how things appear to others. Sometimes that knowledge just makes it all the harder to figure out the truth of a thing.

Relationships aren't easy. Seeing as it's been 8 years or more since my last dating relationship, and the only "date" that I have been on since then was just a total wash... well you might understand why I am so confused.

Can't I just have a close guy friend like I used to? A guy that I can tell anything to? or at least pretend to tell everything to?

However it may look "Nebraska" and I are still just getting to know one another. We still spend hours talking about movies we loved as kids, and our jobs, and the weather. We've barely touched the deep stuff. So just because we tend to cuddle and look all happy sappy doesn't mean squat. We're cuddlers and sometimes you find someone that it's just easy to cuddle with, someone you just connect with somehow.

Do I hope that it might could grow into something more?

Sure, but I also know that we are of the same mind that these things take time, and I mean serious time. So I am looking forward to getting to know him better. To discovering more things that we both enjoy. To having some long serious talks.

I appreciate my friends looking out for me. I would do the same for them. I love them and know that they have my best interest at heart. I pray that they understand when it may seem like I am not taking things they say completely to heart. I'm storing those things away and taking them into account. I am still just trying to understand what I myself am feeling. To figure out why I am acting a certain way. If I am changing myself or hiding my self or... well you get the idea.

Thanks for letting me ramble a bit.