:)

Tonight was really nice...

scary

that sinking feeling in the pitt of my stomach.

what is this, what is this?

the thought that something's wrong.

what is this, what is this?

a fist, tightning around my heart.

just one word could turn this dream around...

rambling

Why is it when you are still trying to figure things out, everyone else already has an opinion?

Believe me I don't really mind the insight, as much as I try not to be conformed by the molds of society they still have an effect. So it is important to know how things appear to others. Sometimes that knowledge just makes it all the harder to figure out the truth of a thing.

Relationships aren't easy. Seeing as it's been 8 years or more since my last dating relationship, and the only "date" that I have been on since then was just a total wash... well you might understand why I am so confused.

Can't I just have a close guy friend like I used to? A guy that I can tell anything to? or at least pretend to tell everything to?

However it may look "Nebraska" and I are still just getting to know one another. We still spend hours talking about movies we loved as kids, and our jobs, and the weather. We've barely touched the deep stuff. So just because we tend to cuddle and look all happy sappy doesn't mean squat. We're cuddlers and sometimes you find someone that it's just easy to cuddle with, someone you just connect with somehow.

Do I hope that it might could grow into something more?

Sure, but I also know that we are of the same mind that these things take time, and I mean serious time. So I am looking forward to getting to know him better. To discovering more things that we both enjoy. To having some long serious talks.

I appreciate my friends looking out for me. I would do the same for them. I love them and know that they have my best interest at heart. I pray that they understand when it may seem like I am not taking things they say completely to heart. I'm storing those things away and taking them into account. I am still just trying to understand what I myself am feeling. To figure out why I am acting a certain way. If I am changing myself or hiding my self or... well you get the idea.

Thanks for letting me ramble a bit.

:)

speaking of dancing.... i tihnk i could almost sing too! lol this week is looking up :)

heart thoughts

Sometimes I wish I could whistle…



Guess that just means I will find my self dancing, much more than normal… my heart is dancing now…

falling

I think, for the first time, I had the sudden sensation that my whole world might be falling apart…

What happens when the seams start to split,

When all that seemed full is transparent?

How does it happen so suddenly,

Where will all the pieces go?

Who will make it alright again?

God is the one who will make it right.

Jehovah will find the missing pieces.

My Elohim will bring the chaos to a halt.

Jehovah will set the path ahead.

Jesus will sew it according to His pattern.

My God is an awesome God and He will help me find the way!